The Mental Health Balance

I am an introvert.

I can muddle along just fine and make casual conversation with strangers, but when given the choice, I'll wait over ten minutes for the next subway instead of the current crowded one. It takes a lot of mental and physical energy for me to want to go out and be social most of the time. Getting through two days of classes and one day of work is enough to make me crash pretty hard in the three or four days after. I won't go out, I'll just stay in bed, watching TV shows and movies and reading, unable to do anything else because I'm just so tired and I hate it because I have work to do and good friends to see and I live in New York City for crying out loud. But that's my reality and I came to accept that.

This past week, I had a couple of errands to run and my roommate had some stuff to do and we needed to go grocery shopping. So, on Thursday, we set out. My roommate I could handle doing it with because I'm obviously comfortable with her and we were going to familiar places. Bookstores, grocery store, nothing complicated.

Two books, a new tote bag, many groceries and a whole lot of wallet regret later, I returned home. Slept a lot that night and my weekend of alone time began...but I wasn't really tired.

I went to the post office and I grabbed some things I craved, but not everything, and I was able to do work. I had energy. I felt up to doing things. I spent most of Saturday sleeping too, and didn't even get dressed or make it to the mailbox, but I felt awake and alive and good. I was productive. 

Today, I got myself up and went to church and took myself to my favorite bakery and came home, then went out again for a couple things I'd missed Thursday and I got more work done. 

I've gotten very little sleep this weekend, but I've read a ton and I've been productive and I feel good. I feel better than I have the past couple of weekends after three or four days of mostly sitting at home. I feel relaxed. 

Unfortunately, relaxation apparently comes after torture to my wallet. As importance as my mental health is to me, I just can't do this every weekend.

So, it's back to the drawing board on how to keep myself mentally and emotionally stable enough to get through school. After a weekend trip to my parents' to shop and get pampered on their dime. And a trip to a wedding mostly on their dime. And two weeks later a trip back to their house. And then two weeks after that, I'm on spring break...

Alright, maybe I won't be going back to the drawing board anytime soon. But, it's the thought that counts, right?

--Julie